Thursday night I came home from work after another 11 1/2 day. My sweet husband was sitting home waiting for me, and when I came in he hugged me. I hung onto him for quite awhile, and then I burst into tears. I went onto the patio and sat in my favorite rocking chair and had a good cry. It was one of the best moments of my week!
This new job is overwhelming and is draining everything out of me. I am always exhausted, grumpy and I have asked myself several times this week 'what was I thinking'?!!! My last job rarely required more than 8 hours a day, and since I had a home office I got to be at home much more. Now I drive 24 miles each way to work, on freeways and through downtown where the traffic is horrible. I am at work anytime between 6:00 am to 7:30 am and leave around 6:00 to 6:30 p.m.. While I am there I am forever being confronted with a multitude of various problems and issues. The bathroom is about 10-12 yards from my office, and one day, due to people wanting to talk with me, it took me a half an hour to get to it! Not a good thing! Several times I have looked out my office door to see 2-3 people lined up waiting to come in. With very few exception, they are waiting to tell me of a new problem or issue or complaint. I have never worked in this capacity before and I don't know what all the answers are. I often feel so inadequate. I have a staff of about 75 nurses that work under me. I am ultimately responsible for all the nursing care that is given, and that we are in compliance with all federal, state and corporate regulations. I also care about these individuals and desire to give them good leadership. My decisions impact them and I want to do what is right, safe and fair. If there was ever a time I need the blessing of wisdom--it is now!
I decided in January that I would study the Old Testament this year. Most of my Bible studying has been in the New Testament--which I have loved. To me, the OT is a bit more challenging and intimidating. I am grateful that I am studying it, I have already learned many things. One thing I keep thinking about is Moses. Here is a man who was very content to live with his father-in-law, tend sheep and raise his family. He had no interest or confidence in being a leader of thousands of people. And he had absolutely no idea of how to do it. Absolutely none! But he did it by trusting God, listening and obeying him on a day to day basis. God did not give him all the answers at the beginning. It was a step by step process. I believe it is the same with all of us. Step by step, day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I don't know why God put me in this position. But I do know that he is good, and he is always at work in my life. I only see the moment, but he sees all eternity. I only see the obvious, he know and sees the heart and mind and thoughts of not only me, but the 132 residents (patients) that reside in my nursing home and the rest of the staff that work there. I trust that he will be with me and will give me what I need. He never promised it would be simple & easy, he only promised that he would never leave me, and he would help carry the burden.
Craft Projects for Kids
1 year ago