Help...I didn't sign-up for this!

Thursday night I came home from work after another 11 1/2 day. My sweet husband was sitting home waiting for me, and when I came in he hugged me. I hung onto him for quite awhile, and then I burst into tears. I went onto the patio and sat in my favorite rocking chair and had a good cry. It was one of the best moments of my week!

This new job is overwhelming and is draining everything out of me. I am always exhausted, grumpy and I have asked myself several times this week 'what was I thinking'?!!! My last job rarely required more than 8 hours a day, and since I had a home office I got to be at home much more. Now I drive 24 miles each way to work, on freeways and through downtown where the traffic is horrible. I am at work anytime between 6:00 am to 7:30 am and leave around 6:00 to 6:30 p.m.. While I am there I am forever being confronted with a multitude of various problems and issues. The bathroom is about 10-12 yards from my office, and one day, due to people wanting to talk with me, it took me a half an hour to get to it! Not a good thing! Several times I have looked out my office door to see 2-3 people lined up waiting to come in. With very few exception, they are waiting to tell me of a new problem or issue or complaint. I have never worked in this capacity before and I don't know what all the answers are. I often feel so inadequate. I have a staff of about 75 nurses that work under me. I am ultimately responsible for all the nursing care that is given, and that we are in compliance with all federal, state and corporate regulations. I also care about these individuals and desire to give them good leadership. My decisions impact them and I want to do what is right, safe and fair. If there was ever a time I need the blessing of wisdom--it is now!

I decided in January that I would study the Old Testament this year. Most of my Bible studying has been in the New Testament--which I have loved. To me, the OT is a bit more challenging and intimidating. I am grateful that I am studying it, I have already learned many things. One thing I keep thinking about is Moses. Here is a man who was very content to live with his father-in-law, tend sheep and raise his family. He had no interest or confidence in being a leader of thousands of people. And he had absolutely no idea of how to do it. Absolutely none! But he did it by trusting God, listening and obeying him on a day to day basis. God did not give him all the answers at the beginning. It was a step by step process. I believe it is the same with all of us. Step by step, day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I don't know why God put me in this position. But I do know that he is good, and he is always at work in my life. I only see the moment, but he sees all eternity. I only see the obvious, he know and sees the heart and mind and thoughts of not only me, but the 132 residents (patients) that reside in my nursing home and the rest of the staff that work there. I trust that he will be with me and will give me what I need. He never promised it would be simple & easy, he only promised that he would never leave me, and he would help carry the burden.

Resume

They say the perfect resume reflects your strengths, accomplishments and experience and will fit onto only one piece of paper. That could be a real problem for me...NOT because I have such a long list of strenghts and accomplishments, but because I have so much experience that I don't know how to make it fit on one sheet of paper!

You see my problem is that I have never had a job for longer than 2 1/2 years. Never!

I entered the nursing field in the late '80s and ever since I have change jobs many, many times. I have often had 3 or more W-2 forms when doing taxes.
In 2005 I did break a record and passed the 2.5 year mark by remaining with the same company. This June I will have been with my current company for 6 (count'em six) years!!! A big thing for me. However, I have continued to change position (even in the same company) at least every 2-2 1/2 years.

I share this because two weeks ago, I changed jobs again. In my almost 6 years with this company this will be my fourth position with them.
I am the new Director of Nursing at a 136 bed skill nursing facility. It is a position with many responsibilities that can be quite over-whelming at times. I have worked in LTC facilities for many years, but this is my first time as a DON (Director of Nursing).
I was quite nervous on my first day. But when I got to work, I found a big "Welcome Sally" poster on my door and they had a big lucheon with a "Welcome Sally" cake!
WOW..I felt so loved!

The scripture I copied to take with me on my first day is found in 2Timothy 1:7 and says:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
What a great promise...what a great encouragement! And, as always, God is true and faithful to all he has promised. It's been a great two weeks!

The Beginning

Well, I have thought about it for quite some time. Some of my kids are doing it...which is very cool and inspiring. So last night I finally did it...I created a 'blog', and tonight I am actually writing my first post!

Pretty 'techie' for an old grandma!



I have named it "...the gentleness of wisdom" which I took from the New Testament book of James, chapter 3 verse 13. (NASB) Why? Well, as I have gotten older, I have longed for wisdom. I have learned to see it's worth and value in life. When I was younger, I didn't really think much of it. But now, I recognize just how much I need it and all the ways I am lacking in it.



To have knowledge, understanding, discernment and insight to face the trials of everyday life is such a blessing. Truly greater than fame or wealth.



I love the chapter this verse comes from. James talks about two types of wisdom...one that is earthly, natural, demonic. This is where jealous, selfish ambition and disorder is. (vs 15, 16) The other wisdom is from above ~ pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good 'fruits' and without hypocrisy (verse 17). A real fail-proof checklist!



About 8 or 9 years ago, I was challenged by a women I greatly admired to read and study the Bible. I was hesitant, and quite sure I would not enjoy or understand it. But she talked me into trying and I began reading. Well, it changed my life. It is now a daily, and hopefully life-long habit. Many benefits have come from it, but one of the greatest is the blessing of wisdom. I have a more clear understanding of myself, of life and it's purposes, and mostly of the goodness and love of our great God. My degree of wisdom is small, but growing, and I am blessed by it's gentleness.